Unrealistic Expectations of

 the Perfect Hollyweird Hallmark Perception of the Perfect Family Christmas.

That is a mouthful and so unrealistic. 

The following is Satire and not meant to represent any real family.

There is no such thing as a perfect Christmas. There are no perfect Holidays. 

This time we hired Security Officers for a Family Get Together to make sure that the feuding families didn't bring weapons. Full body searches at the door pretty much took the fun out of getting inside to have a good knock

down

drag out

fight.

However, an MMA event was not out of the question.

Grandma Mildred smuggled in a Bowie Knife. I mean seriously, the officers missed that. Who on earth would search an old lady's Wet Depends?

Cousin LeRoy attacked Cousin Raymond with a plastic Spork after they both went for the same piece of nasty Fruitcake.

Great Grandma Jolene went after Grandma Mildred. Jolene is an expert at wheeling that old chair of hers. Hair was pulled and Grandma Mildred lost her wig. Mildred whipped her Rollator around and nearly took off Jolene's head.

With shots and beers in hand, the rest of the family hung out at the bar and watched the entertainment. The Grandma Fight was scored and after 3 rounds, they broke it up and handed the Champion Necklace to Mildred. Her Bowie Knife won her extra points.

So clever of Mildred to outwit and outfight a 90 year old!

The little ones went around the rented room to tear down decorations. They decided to pile it up in the corner and see if they could start a fire.

Some of us were impressed that these two and four year old's could be so handy with matches and lighters.

Serious bets were placed on who would start the next fight when the presents were opened. We'd drawn names for this large get together.

We'd hired a Santa to pass out gifts. He was the same Santa we'd used a year ago. Instead of a big pillow under his suit, he was wearing a Kevlar Vest. Impressive!

We had to separate the grandmothers one more time. Great Grandma Jolene had held the Family Feud Champion Necklace for years and wasn't about to give it up that easily.

Gifts were passed out just before the Santa passed out. Apparently he had been hiding out at the bar for quite a while.

All was merry especially when the fire department arrived to put out the fire the kids started.

We all left the building and admired the pretty flashing lights.

Grandpa Leo toddled out with his walker and waved it around announcing that he just loved a parade with Fire Trucks!

~~~~~~~

Oh ... and then I woke up.

Sunday Stills ~ Fresh #30

 Sunday Stills~Fresh #30

Pony Mule Fred in 

Fresh Snowfall

November 18th

[age 37]

Charlie on ice 

Fresh blue ice in

the dry run

Fresh Laundry

Hung on the

Line

 

Well, except when a pregnant 

donkey is loose in the

yard and chooses to

use your laundry as shade.

Summer 2006

And there are 

Fresh Vegetables 

from the Garden!

A version of

Attack of the 

Killer Tomatoes.

Igloo and Creepy Zombie Clay snow people...

Sometimes I get a bit carried away with things. I touched up the igloo for my table with the little mini snow men [they are 1/2" tall] and Santa. I thought, hey why not make a tiny 'snow scene'? You know, that diorama thingy?

As kids, we didn't use big words like diorama. We just made 'set ups'. 
Setups included our plastic soldiers having an epic battle on the ping pong table in the basement.

We spent hours doing those activities.

I used cotton balls that were packed in a medication bottle to make white snow boulders. The tiny gift boxes are something I picked up so many years ago and have reused year after year. 

I should have left well enough alone. I went out in the yard and picked up some fallen branches and broke off tiny trees. I thought I'd make a couple of snow men/people. Why not? I had the tips of the branches to make arms. I found itty bitty seeds to make the eyes in the first snow man zombie. Well, the rest is history.

They look like zombies! Terrifying indeed! 

Yet, somehow I like them.
They look less scary in the daylight. I still used black and white for them and gave the little snowperson without the mouth an acorn hat.

The igloo is behind them. 

Do not fear. I am not all creepy and scary. I like cute also. 

Behold the arrival of the Polar Bears!

They are adorable!

Girry Adventures ... part two...

This is the second part of the fun I am having. Actually I am collaborating with BJ who is now acting as my 'editor'. She is a master of literature and many other things. She still needs to review this section!

Part one....

I got up the next day and wandered out the door. I mean She had gone outside with Charlie so I wanted to get a peek at the wild forest that surrounded me.

There was a large brown bear sitting in the grass not too far from the porch. 

“Hello there,” I said, “I’m Girry, and I am rather new here. I’d love to go explore the wild woods. Would you like to go with me?”

The brown bear shook his head and gave me a funny look. “I’m Moose, I can’t go on any adventures into the woods. There are hunters out there!”

He motioned upwards and pointed to his antlers.

“See? I have antlers! I have Moose Antlers. I’m Brown and I have Antlers. It is not a good idea to run around in the woods when you look like this!”

Moose seemed grouchy and rather put off. He continued to just sit in the grass and stare out over the yard. 

“I was sent here to be loved,” I told Moose. I wasn’t sure what to say to this grouchy Teddy Bear. “Why are you here? Do you live here? How did you get here? Is this a good place? Has the Charlie Dog chewed on you yet?”

Moose stared out at the yard in silence. What a grouch. Then it hit me.

I looked Moose over, he looked miserable.
“Hey,” I said, I have an idea! I can help you get out into the woods safely.”

He looked at me. 

“How can you help?”

“Well. Let’s talk about your Moose clothes. What if you took the suit off?” I leaned in and unzipped the jumpsuit. 

Moose looked at me in surprise. 

“I hadn’t thought of that,” he replied. He shrugged out of his Moose Suit. “By the way,” he replied, “You ask too many questions.”

“Oh?” Uh oh. That was a question. I sat down and was quiet. I too stared at the yard. 

“Wait until you meet Bear!” Moose said finally. “You will like him.”

“Wait,” I said, “there are more teddy bears like you that live here?”

Moose said, “Absolutely. There are a lot of us. Most of us bears came from second hand shops. She found most of them tossed in dirty old bins. The Wild Teddy’s live in the Forest from what I understand. Bear and Pink live in the house. I’m like you, I came from that place in Vermont.”

I sat quietly and thought about all of this. 

“Am I the only Giraffe?”

Moose shrugged, “Yup, seems so. Don’t worry, you aren’t the only odd one. There are two Rabbits also.”

Making a righteous mess!

I always start out with a big mess in a tiny room. There are two huge bins of stuff and each year I sort it and try to do something different.

The snow men are a new addition to my collection of 'stuff'. I have no idea what the dragon is doing there, however she seems to be looking at the tipsy snow man that has the Jack Daniels bottle. Obviously the other snow men think it is funny. 

Santa looks peeved.

The mess is starting to come alive. I stopped there and quit for a while. I had no idea what I wanted to do.

Charlie as usual decided to help. He spotted the bigger snowmen in the box and thought perhaps I should give them to him as chew toys. To his credit, he left them alone.

Another start and stop. I decided the snowmen and polar bears should have a igloo. I covered a gourd with foil for a shape and used Sculpey Air Dry Clay to make an igloo.

It is still drying! 

Talk about doing stuff on the fly. However. I'm never really in a big rush for getting things decorated. 

We almost never have any guests even pre pandemic so basically this is just for my enjoyment. I say my because I think hubby just tolerates my antics. He smiles and says It looks nice when I ask his opinion. 

I do a lot of experimenting and a lot of re-arranging. I'll set something up and after a week, I'll change it. I need to keep things interesting.

So I leave it here, with my fairly ugly mess of things. The igloo was finished today.

I see that the Elf on the Shelf decided to get in on things.

I don't think his choice of partners was a wise one....

But he doesn't look too worried!

Please feed the dinosaurs before working with them!

Thanks ... giving

Nah, NO turkey for us! 

I do lasagna. I have never actually cooked a turkey. I don't even like most poultry so it is a no brainer for me.

We used to gather as a large family long ago with cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents. Us kids ate in another room. I recall we got in trouble for creating a squash, corn, and cranberry mountain on a plate in the middle of our table. I think we all added the food we disliked to the mountain with the idea we'd give the big mess to the dogs. 
We got caught and chastised. 

We put on bright colored clothing and went sledding while the adults cleaned up. 

This holiday keeps changing over the years. There was the Thanksgiving I did hotdogs with the boys. That is what they wanted. There were gatherings of our generation. 

Things changed. People went their own ways.

We will spend time at home without company. I will start working on my Christmas Projects. I made a new one this past week. 

I took my handmade 'Fairy House' Stuff and thought it would be fun to set things up on a little table. I moved the old trunk  and set a white board on it...I'll address that later.
The little table with a drawer became my project. What to do?

Well, I gathered my moss house, my mossy tree, and just messed around a bit. I gutted the mossy tree of its lights and added a puck light I could turn on with a remote.
I replaced the batteries in the fairy lights and gathered up my tiny squirrels and Groot.
I found a use for the mini decorations that had been put away for so many years.

I found a chunk of plastic ivy left over from some long ago project and viola! The table became a setting I can admire while in the kitchen doing other projects. I can also move the squirrels around or make the dinosaurs or dragons visit...OH the endless possibilities!

And in the morning before dawn, I can enjoy the lights even more as they add fun and warmth to the kitchen area.

While putting other things away, I came across some brooches I'd ordered last year. I wanted to swap out a brooch on my 'go to town' baseball cap and had ordered a little packet of them. 

I have a tiny tree ... I had the bug brooches.
And I thought...why not?

Which led me to gathering some of my mother in laws brooches I inherited to decorate the tiny tree in the kitchen [no picture...sorry]. 

There is that old trunk with the white board on it just hanging around near the back door. I kept thinking about white and about what I could come up with.

Something snowy, something fun, something different.
This piece of cardboard packing came with a humidifier, I thought I might use it to make a little snow mountain.

I used some felt and some sticky two sided tape to hold it on the cardboard. The linen tea towel is one that came from my Grandmother and Aunt's things that I inherited. I thought it might make good snow.

The jury is still out on this small creation. I can see where I will be messing with this for a bit to get it right. 

I may even scrap the whole idea, time will tell. 

The new Christmas Chair is now in the living room. It is waiting. But I am holding off on that project. There is no rush.

I got out in the afternoon for doing some Girry Adventure photography. If anyone has ever worked with a dog underfoot, perhaps they can appreciate how helpful or unhelpful a pet can be...

Here is Charlie, inspecting the Teddy named Moose just before he pushed it over. I wish I had been quick enough to capture Charlie nosing the Girry Giraffe into the creek water.

Today will be more about chilling out, relaxing, and enjoying each other's company.

What am I thankful for?

My imagination which allows me to enjoy going in so many directions at once.
My husband who constantly brings me joy and frustrations. Our home and farm.

Charlie.

Friends and family.

Mornings

I used to hate getting up in the morning. I used to have trouble sleeping from the rotating and the odd shifts I used to work.

It took me years to get into a good sleep habit. Well, I think it is a good sleep habit. Now I go to bed about the same time each night and wake up at 5AM with no alarm clock.

I'm getting used to the chilly mornings also. My insulated coveralls are generally right next to the porch door along with my hat and gloves. What easier way to take a sunrise walk than to have those items laid out right next to the door?

Below, the moon and the western sky above our cottage. You can see Mica the grey elderly mule standing and watching to see if I head to the shed.

I was surprised yesterday morning by the intense colors that came through the forest while Charlie and I walked up the driveway. It was like the ridge was on fire!

The intensity of the 'red' color was incredible. The bark on the trees along the western edge of the road were literally red colored. I took photos, but the images turned out so red and bizarre, I didn't save them.

This morning's sky was much more subtle and I had fun trying to place that one lone corn stalk properly in the photo. It took me several tries. Charlie was happy to wander the corn field and seek out deer and other critter smells.

I like this time of day. I have it to myself. There are no phone calls, no doctor appointments, or requests from the other half. 

It is my selfish time to sip coffee or take a walk or simply watch the day start. 

I do love the subtle colors of dawn too. I think sometimes too many people concentrate on the vivid dawns and sunsets, and let the subtle and gentle colors go unnoticed.

Charlie thinks mornings are for sniffing and doing dog business. He gave me a grumpy look once I headed back towards home. On the way to the ridge he ran ahead of me. 
On the way home he dragged his feet and walked behind me.

I get it Charlie, I like the mornings too!

A picture is worth a thousand....

 words?

Isn't that how the saying goes? Well I thought about that yesterday as I was doing my boring things. I was thinking about how it related to how I write my fun little stories.

I'd gone out and taken quite a few photos when I got Girry the Giraffe. I took the critters and walked around the woods taking shots of them in different scenarios.

I hadn't made anything up in my head yet, but just wanted to have fun using the light and the warm November weather to my advantage. In my mind, the story would start in November, but really get going in the winter months.

Somehow I don't plan. I admit, that is backwards. I write a bit, take some photos, and then the characters seem to find their way and write the story for me.

I had updated the adventure, but got stuck for a bit.

How would these photos fit? I don't have any clue. 

But at least the story went forward and now I have an idea of where the critters may go. I just need to follow them.

After the hunters are done in the woods I can safely follow the Teddy Bears and others as they create their stories.

I just need to follow them.

Sunday Stills ~ You

Sunday Still #29 ~You

I'm going to go with my own interpretation of this.

1979 Myself and Eddie 
my oldest son

The photo below explains what 

I wanted to be when I grew up.

Me on the left

at 16 yrs old

Our wedding with my 

two boys and his daughter

Morris and I watching the woods.

This is me. 

And hopefully, this is me for a long time....

Gun Season and Christmas Chair

Maybe I won't complain

....about deer hunting this year. Hubby demands that I stay out of the woods for the whole season, but I have ways I can get down into the creek and explore the dry runs. They are deep and they are like being in trenches, except they are full of mossy boulders.

Generally, this is what I call the 9 day Clean Up. I wash ceilings, walls, and take down all knick knacks and sort through the boxes in the basement. I bring out all the heavy winter stuff and hang it on hooks after washing it. I sort through gloves, mittens, and face masks. I find my winter ski goggles and brush up the snowshoes. 

I clean out the little hutch in the living room and rotate out the items on the shelves so I can put in some Holiday decorations. 

This generally only takes me a day or two to do. The benefits of living in a small cottagel

I need to decide how to set up the 'new' Christmas Chair. Am I going to use the Coal Scuttle as my 'tree of bare branches' this year? Or use parts of the old fake Christmas tree?

I don't know, I may just wing it. Clean and organize first and then figure out how to take our tiny living room and perk it up.

My old Christmas Chair's seat has finally split into two. So I went out this summer and found another derelict chair in the shed. It is a Bent Hickory Chair that was going to get a new seat at some point in its prior life. 

It was stored in a wet environment so the bottom of the legs were rotted off.

It seemed Perfect for a new project.
I sawed off the rotten part and then added pads on the bottom so the legs wouldn't scratch the new floor in the living room.

I painted the wooden seat which was supposed to be a cane seat, I guess. However the flat surface will work perfectly.

Below is Charlie showing off the whole living room on the day the ripped out the carpet and put down the new floor.

And here it is with some of the items back in place.

Over the years, I've used the corner where the concentrator now resides. It was perfect and out of the way. The old concentrator was replaced by a Huge one and it has to take up residence in a place I do not want it.

Decisions! Decisions!

What about that old trunk I disparaged over this summer? It is a great spot to fold laundry or add fun little touches in the kitchen area.

Last year's Chair/Tree was by the window. 

Oh...the anticipation!

Time to get to work....