Mother Nature keeps me on my toes! Yesterday the winds moved in with 40 mph gusts! I cancelled my Duck Egg plans.
I did take a walk at sunrise in the nice cold fresh air. It was 31 degrees and frosty at the house, but much warmer on the ridge. The winds didn't start until after I'd gotten back from my morning road walk.
I don't know why, but I feel I have a better attitude if I start the day with a walk down the road and get fresh air.
I tried out my 'new' hiking pants that are lined with fleece. I really love them! I also purchased a winter coat. Lime green.
Normally you'd see me purchase grey or black. Nope, for some reason, I decided Lime Green was good as it is very visible. You know, for those times I hike at KVR or some other obscure place.
Enough of that.
I got some indoor projects done while the winds were whistling outside. I covered the window air conditioner from the inside. Today, I'll get the outside covered too. That involves a tall ladder and someone to be there while I put the cover on.
I worked on my CareGiver Class. Have I learned new things? Sort of. But there is a lot of specific things I would have liked to seen covered. Not just how to deal with emotions and feelings [very important] but how to navigate the convoluted VA system. Assistance in filling out paperwork and forms. Where to go when a veteran needs emergency care. I found the class lacking in those areas.
One of the interesting things is, the instructions ask that the caregiver make sure he/she has a Durable Power of Attorney in case the veteran/spouse is too ill to handle that. A good idea.
However the VA doesn't recognize the DPOA for disabled veterans. Because the Veteran gets federal funds, they need to have an appointed Fiduciary. That fiduciary has to be 'investigated' by the VA which includes a home visit. Generally, the Fiduciary can be the spouse, unless the VA finds that the spouse is unfit in some way to be a Fiduciary.
I have gone through this process and there are rules to follow while being a Fiduciary. I would have liked some of the other caregivers in my class to understand the process they could face in the future.
None of this was discussed in the CareGiver program. This class was helpful if a person had never been a caregiver at all. It did emphasize self care, asking for help from family and friends, and how to reduce stress.
These are all things I've gone and figured out for myself over the years.
Stress management.
Exercise for the mind and body.
Asking for help from family or friends. This is a double edged sword. Family can be far away and they can be rather unhelpful as I discovered during the last years of my MIL's life.
Neighbors have been helpful in my case.
Apparently I am eligible for some respite care. That means someone is hired from the rural program like Helping Hands and they would come out to give me a break of some sort.
Our rural program is stretched very thin. I found that out when my MIL was supposed to get assistance to stay in her apartment. There simply are not enough people to go around to help those in need.
Let's not forget the fact that a veteran who doesn't trust people, would hardly let a stranger in the house or be comfortable with someone he/she doesn't know.
Let's add Covid-19 to the mix and really...
do you want someone from the outside of your 'bubble' coming into your house?
So I am in the last week of this class and am filing out the paperwork for a newly Expanded Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers.
There is a long form to fill out. A VA exam, a home exam, and the extensive scrutiny of records by the VA.
However the VA feels it is far better to offer a stipend to a Caregiver to stay home and care for their ill husband/wife rather than paying for nursing home care. True right?
I've been doing it for years already. My husband does say thanks for all I do.
I didn't sign up for this. But I am not angry about it. I do care for Rich.
Without sounding like a total shit, I would like to say that I feel his family could really step up a bit and offer to give me a break for a day or two.
But experience over the last 5 or so years has told me a different story.
Things that matter:
We are healthy right now.
We are together right now.
We have a roof over our heads and food for ourselves and our critters.
That matters.
The rest is just noise.
the VA sounds like a double talker. If a vet is ill and unable to speak for themselves are they not disabled and therefore your DPA is not recognized? So in their eyes, your DPA is only recognized if the veteran is there nodding their head in agreement to what you say. I had a similar problem with Social Security. My Mother is completely dependent on caregivers and does not speak. The SS does not recognize my DPA. I had to apply to be her Designated Payee and be background checked by the SS. After approval, each year I must account as to how I spent her money. There's no easy solution. We just do the best we can each day.
ReplyDeleteNo not exactly. Durable power of attorney has a broad stroke of things. It is always important for the veteran to designate someone who can speak for him if he is not able to speak. That needs to be taken care of with a POA for healthcare. Filling out an Advanced Directive is easy to do at the VA.
DeleteAll those forms are quick and easy allowing the caregiver to speak with the doctors and make appointments for the veteran.
With HIPPA laws it is important to ask and get the proper paperwork done.
I have to do the same for my husband, the DPA is not recognized for federal funds. I was backround checked and we had a home inspection. It was actually a good thing because I am held accountable for his care and don't stick him in a closet.
I too have to account for how I make sure his VA pension is spent and it has to be spent on his well being.
My MIL had to have a court appointed Guardian and she too had to present an account of how MIL's SS was spent.
I'm sorry it is such a seemingly convoluted issue. I think the rules were put in place to care and protect the person receiving federal funds when someone else has to handle it.
Does that make sense?
We have applied...we will see what happens.
ReplyDeleteNo I really don't want anyone coming into our bubble for respite care. Right now we are doing okay...as long as he stays reasonably well.
I know what you mean about a roof over your head and food to eat...all the outside work is exhausting some times.
One day at a time:)
With the pandemic, I would be leery of outsiders coming in for respite care. I would like to be able to go see my son who is 4 hrs away at least twice a year. Or take one whole day to do something fun like hike without worrying.
DeleteUntil things change in the pandemic world, that will not happen.
Yes, one day at a time.